After losing my husband and other significant people in my life, I have realized that each loss is a journey. No loss is the same and there is no timeline. I thought I was able to handle my husband's loss, only to find that a year later I went into a depression and had to seek counselling to gain some perspective. I have good days, and I have bad days, yet I know that each day is a part of the journey.
This last year my life partner lost his son unexpectedly. He is very much a pragmatic person, yet as much as he protested the one year anniversary was just another day, there were a plethora of emotions that I watched him experience. Again, there is no right or wrong way to remember, for me the key is to remember. The poem below was my first attempt at writing poetry and for some reason this first anniversary of Darren's death compelled me to make an attempt. Many of these words ran thru my head all night long, so to honor the relationship of a father and son, I had to put pen to paper.
One Year Ago Today
One year ago today
Time seemed to grind to halt.
Seems like a second ago,
The feelings are so real.
My heart is actually hurting
My mind is stuck in rewind,
You left us without warning
No matter what I wished or thought.
Your smile is forever shining
In my eyes and in my heart
Your hugs are just as tight.
You loved your life and family,
You chose to make each person
Feel like they were a star.
I reach for you each day,
I long to hear your voice.
I feel your presence as surely
As if you were standing in my light.
Forever in my heart, my mind, my being.
One year ago today
Seems like yesterday
I can’t believe you left.
With so much life to live,
With hope, and promise and family.
I’d gladly trade you places, yet
Life is meant to live.
There is a greater purpose,
Though hard to see the why.
No greater fear is imagined
Than to be a parent; to lose
Someone I love so much,
Someone I long to touch.
The memories now are constant
Never far from each memory
Or each moment that I live.
My hope is that someday
Reunited our souls will be.
For now, I cherish those memories
Live each day with no regrets.
Cherish those still with me
And love with all my heart.
I see your smile in family,
I hear your voice in my mind,
I know that inside your child
A love light is never dark.
One year ago today
My life forever changed,
Never to be recovered
At least for now here in this plane.
I had the chance to love you
From birth to your demise
I have the chance forever,
To love you in my heart.
Written by Leona Thorogood
In memory of Darren Drummond
Dedicated to his parents, sister, wife,
daughter,
family and friends.
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